Tyler Talks Spring

April 2nd, 2014 by Magdalena Tabor

Some of you may have been wondering where I’ve been all winter. Then again, others may have muttered “I’m glad that cat’s finally stopped writing”. For those of you tylerwho’ve missed me, this blog’s for you. To the rest, go bark at the dog next door.
It’s been a long first winter here in New York and I have been preoccupied with the business of napping, chasing snowflakes at the window, napping, writing my memoirs, napping, running scared from Snowshoe (the Alpha male cat), napping, mooning after Clementine who hates me with a passion, and napping. So, for us Texas cats, all this talk about Spring has me anticipating what this new season has in store for me.
They say Spring is when everything turns GREEN. I’m happy with my coloring the way it is, thank you, and have no imminent desire to appear in the form of a moving topiary. Someone may just clip my tail.
They also say Spring is when everything buds and flowers. I can do without the blossoms behind my ears. I am not a flower child. However, it’s a well known fact that flowers attract insects, so I may just sport one behind an ear. I’d really like to taste one or two. I have a vey discerning palate and can recommend the best varieties from which you may benefit as they are very healthful however fuzzy. Then again, if you’re the dog who’s still reading my blog with the usual contempt, you have no real taste anyway. I’ve seen you spit them out and then, with the table manners of a mongrel, put them back in your mouth. At least place them nicely on a plate and for goodness sake, use utensils. The important thing is to appear distinguished while munching the little critters so as not to arouse suspicion from the Beans. For they will scoop them up with disgust and call you a disparaging name. Honestly, they have about as much sense as the mutt next door. Not you, Chip. You’re very nice. I think there a mutt a couple of houses down.
Anyway, I am quite looking forward to Spring, aren’t you?

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2 Responses to “Tyler Talks Spring”

  1. dog next door Says:

    Hello Tyler,
    Good to see you back writing. You are a comical fellow, but despite the fact that you exempt me from your feelings on dogs, I’m beginning to wonder! You really seem to dislike us! As a canine though, I do agree with what you say about how we can sometimes eat things, in my puppy years I picked up everything! However. what about CATS, I’ve witnessed them chew on a mouse and drop it in the house, Are you out of your freaking mind!!

  2. tyler Says:

    Mice are considered quite the delicacy which your taste buds cannot detect, through no fault of your own. This is a natural trait of all canines and because of this their lack of appreciation for gourmet foods of this type is pardoned. You are very perceptive in your belief of my dislike of the canine community but you could’t be more wrong in my fondness for you. It is my firm feeling that you are in fact not a dog but a human bean disguised as one. Although why you would do such a thing is beyond me. The only explanation must be that you are conducting some type of experiment for the purpose of scientific research. You are welcome to post your findings on this site as a guest blogger.

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