Tyler Talks Lounging

August 25th, 2013 by Magdalena Tabor

tylerI’m a cat. Synonymous with the word “lounge”. Beans do it too but not on as grand a scale as we felines. Dogs? They have their “dog day afternoon”. We have our morning, noon, and night.

Pick a spot. Any spot. The rug. The bookshelf. The stairs. Anywhere the Beans call “underfoot”. “Tyler, are you underfoot again?” No. Your clodhoppers are looming like a three toed Brontosaurus trying to balance on a golf ball. But it’s always MY fault when they topple over . Graceful they are not.  And always complaining about having to “two step” around me in front of the kitchen counter. Why don’t they one step then? And why does it have to take so long for them to prepare their own meals? They only need two seconds to serve me mine. Flip! Plop! There! Right out of a can and couldn’t be yummier. I much prefer my “Sea Captain’s Choice” over their “Rosemary Chicken (who’s Rosemary anyway?), Potatoes a La Magdalena (I know her)and Toasted Almond String Beans” (Oh, my Catnip! They’re cannibals!) Then they make so much of it, they have to eat it AGAIN  the next day! They always lie and say it tastes even better.

The stairs are a wonderful place to lounge…. I have an aerial view of the entire living space, just like a tree top retreat! But Oh No, “Tyler, you’re in the way again!” they lament as they come clodhopping their way into my space. Why do they always have to go up and down, up and down? Look out! A storm is fast approaching! The room is going dark! Oh. Never mind. It’s just the shadow of Dad’s foot hovering overhead like a helicopter out of designated airspace.

The bay window is a favorite and a much sought after place of refuge we cats vie for. Why they call it a “Bay” window when there’s no water in sight is a mystery, especially when we live  on a street called “Lakeview”. The only water is a pond down the street you can’t even see from the window hidden in the woods. But this so called “Bay” window is nice and roomy where I can      S-T-R-E-T-C-H out and enjoy the sun or watch a parade of dogs go by with their Beans attached to leashes. The Beans are always dragging behind and just can’t keep up. And some of them scoop up the poop like it’s gold. Very peculiar. What do they do with the stuff?  It’s obviously worthless which is why the dogs got rid of it in the first place. They don’t covet the poop in my litterbox. They just throw it away! Hmph!

The Beans always come home and lounge about in “recliners”, “sofas”, and “beds”. Why don’t they try the floor? Or the coffee table?  Or the bathtub? They apparently don’t know how to relax. Just one time I’d like to take a ride in the Jeep and see a Bean sprawled out in the window watching the world go by. 

So………..whadayathink? Why are Beans always in the way? Why don’t they sit on the rug in front of the kitchen sink? And why, oh why, are their feet so big??

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