Tyler Talks Toy Shop

July 21st, 2013 by Magdalena Tabor

tylerEver notice how excited the Human Beans get about the toys they buy for you? One would think they were going to play with them themselves. They parade in armed with bags and much commotion talking amongst themselves about how they “only went in to buy one thing”. Out of these bags, spilling onto the floor are assorted objects made up of feathers, bells and pom poms announcing their arrival like trumpets heralding the birth of a new king while the Beans prance about like jesters disturbing a perfectly sound sleep. They begin by poking prodding and jiggling these objects while frantically repeating my name over and over like deranged clowns desperate for attention. I watch through half closed eyes feigning sleep and boredom as they finally give it up abandoning the objects and peace reigns once more. Thank the Egyptian god Isis, they have gone.

I move a tentative paw towards the mouse that more resembles a crazed inmate in prison garb than rodent. It jingles. Must be the chains on his ankles. It lies still playing possum but I’m familiar with his game. With a single swipe he’s sent flying trapeze-like under the sofa back to Alcatraz. Several musical spheres head in the same direction deftly delivered with poised precision. The rat will need them to amuse himself as there is no escape from the island.

All that’s left is a long slender strip of striped cloth posing as a rattler acutely aware of its unappealing existence. I leave it alone. It’s liable to make a fool of me. To this the Beans return nearly a quarter of an hour later incredulously asking “what happened to all of the toys???” Shock and disbelief mar their previously joyous expressions as they glare accusingly at me. They stoop on all fours (finally maneuvering in an acceptable manner) to look for the useless objects but sensibly avoid Alcatraz. Too risky.

The obvious position of my relaxed state assures them of my innocence and releases them from any further embarrassment. YAWN! Now where’s my dinner?

So…………….whadayathink? Do you have to put up with this insane form of behavior from your Beans? Any ideas on how to better control them? I think tripping them up from time to time may help.

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4 Responses to “Tyler Talks Toy Shop”

  1. Chip Says:

    Ah-ha, now I see the true difference between dogs and cats. Nothing personal Tyler, but while I love all animals, I am a dog person. You see, when “us Beans” buy our beloved dogs toys, the dogs know it the second we walk in the door. The dogs are excited and happy and grab that toy as if it’s the best thing they ever got, and they are SO appreciative……………to the point that they NEVER stop playing with it and try to coax us to play with them for endless hours, which of course we can’t. “We “Beans” then have to hide the given toy in order to obtain any peace! You on the other hand feign indifference, or could truly care less, but who knows………….you’re too stubborn to let on. In the meantime, you hide your own toys. Granted, I do view it as just being very tidy!
    So help me to understand, dogs get toys and appreciate them and “beans” hide them; cats get toys and hide them from the “beans”????????????????? Which means????????????????

  2. Tyler Says:

    Which means, Chip my dear, toys are a stupid waste of money when I would much rather busy myself with a crumpled up wad of paper (sounds like a feisty little insect) or hide out in a cardboard box left over from the toys the Beans bought for themselves and were only going to throw out anyway. So you see, we cats know how to recycle. Silly dogs need someone to play with them while we cats amuse ourselves. Who needs the Beans? Except at feeding time.

  3. Chip Says:

    You are quite a teacher Tyler; thanks for the insight. Just for the record though……………….I don’t think dogs need “Beans” to play with, but they certainly do prefer to play with us rather than by themselves……………or so I’m led to believe. Meanwhile I must state the obvious: you are an intelligent young boy and your grammar has improved immensely.

  4. tyler Says:

    Thank you. I worked very hard on improving my spelling and vocatulary.

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