You Know You’re An Anglophile If…

May 24th, 2012 by Magdalena Tabor

1) You watch Britcoms on public television and don’t mind watching episodes you’ve already seen multiple times.

2) You set the alarm for 3 am to watch a royal wedding live even though you can view the taped version in its entirety at a more reasonable hour.

3) You use the majestic plural of the pronoun “we” when referring to oneself without being labled schizophrenic.

4) You visit the Official Website Of The British Monarachy on a regular basis to keep apprised of the Queen’s corgies and dorgies.

5) You look forward to tea time (although not necessarily with clotted cream and scones with lemon curd) while keeping the pinky conspicuously upturned in a pretentiously genteel manner.

6) You know that cricket is something other than an insect that chirps.

7) You can name all six of Henry the VIII’s wives and the outcome or demise of each and still keep your head.

8)  You can keep a perfectly straight face while the elite model hats that look more like sculptures of extraterrestrial beings perched on their heads.

9) You are aware that The British Invasion refers to some of the best rock bands to hit US soil during the 60’s and not Paul Revere’s frantic announcement while riding horseback.

10) You can understand British film without having to read the sub titles (It is English after all).

11) You know that the tube and a flat have nothing to do with tires but that one will take you to the other.

12) You can convincingly fake an English accent to anyone who’s not actually British.

13) You display a solar powered waving Queen in your front window to amuse the serf  delivering mail from the UK.

14) You bestow titled names on your pets because you don’t have one yourself (eg; Sir Muddy Paws or Princess Powder Puff).

15) You tune into the BBC News and become instantly distracted listening to the anchor man talk instead of absorbing important details on world affairs (what did he just say about  nuclear fallout?)

16) You trace your family history convinced of your royal lineage only to discover your roots are tied to common laborers of suspicious origin.

17) You pay someone to create a family coat of arms to impress the neighbors who then pay someone to create one for them (keeping up with the Duke of Joneses).

18) You wear a t-shirt with a crown that says “She Who Must Be Obeyed” but can’t get the attention of the waitress for the past ten minutes.

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4 Responses to “You Know You’re An Anglophile If…”

  1. Sal Paradise Says:

    Great piece, Magdalena. As an Anglophile of a particular generation I’d like to add: “Always much preferred British punk and New Wave music to the American version” and “BBC drama and mystery series are so much more realistic and compelling than the American kn

  2. Sal Paradise Says:

    Sorry, hit the wrong keystroke. I meant to finish with “BBC drama and crime/mystery series are so much more realistic and compelling than the American knock-offs, in large part because most characters aren’t absurdly beautiful or handsome, much like real life.”

  3. magdalena tabor Says:

    You bring up a very valid point, Sal. Real life people are very ordinary looking thus makking the drama compelling and believable. Love Sherlock Holmes and Masterpiece Theatre. Oooops! Gave myself away. Guess that makes me a certified Anglophile.

  4. Sal Paradise Says:

    Of course, the ultimate litmus: “Can never get enough Helen Mirren!”

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