1) You watch Britcoms on public television and don’t mind watching episodes you’ve already seen multiple times.

2) You set the alarm for 3 am to watch a royal wedding live even though you can view the taped version in its entirety at a more reasonable hour.

3) You use the majestic plural of the pronoun “we” when referring to oneself without being labled schizophrenic.

4) You visit the Official Website Of The British Monarachy on a regular basis to keep apprised of the Queen’s corgies and dorgies.

5) You look forward to tea time (although not necessarily with clotted cream and scones with lemon curd) while keeping the pinky conspicuously upturned in a pretentiously genteel manner.

6) You know that cricket is something other than an insect that chirps.

7) You can name all six of Henry the VIII’s wives and the outcome or demise of each and still keep your head.

8)  You can keep a perfectly straight face while the elite model hats that look more like sculptures of extraterrestrial beings perched on their heads.

9) You are aware that The British Invasion refers to some of the best rock bands to hit US soil during the 60′s and not Paul Revere’s frantic announcement while riding horseback.

10) You can understand British film without having to read the sub titles (It is English after all).

11) You know that the tube and a flat have nothing to do with tires but that one will take you to the other.

12) You can convincingly fake an English accent to anyone who’s not actually British.

13) You display a solar powered waving Queen in your front window to amuse the serf  delivering mail from the UK.

14) You bestow titled names on your pets because you don’t have one yourself (eg; Sir Muddy Paws or Princess Powder Puff).

15) You tune into the BBC News and become instantly distracted listening to the anchor man talk instead of absorbing important details on world affairs (what did he just say about  nuclear fallout?)

16) You trace your family history convinced of your royal lineage only to discover your roots are tied to common laborers of suspicious origin.

17) You pay someone to create a family coat of arms to impress the neighbors who then pay someone to create one for them (keeping up with the Duke of Joneses).

18) You wear a t-shirt with a crown that says “She Who Must Be Obeyed” but can’t get the attention of the waitress for the past ten minutes.

His was a Bleak House

In a sea of russet,

A Copperfield of sorts.

But make no mistake -

There were no Great

Expectations here

Among the Mystery

Of Droods.

Just a tale of woe.

A Tale of two -

Two Cities perhaps,

And an Oliver Twist

Of fate.

So much for hard-hitting investigative journalism, WhaDaWeThink  has decided to write up a super light piece that I think we can all agree upon. Women are natural dancers and men have to work at it; I don’t think there is a single female who doesn’t look great – dancing, and as for men well…. Obviously there are exceptions, but men just look awkward and dumb (Black and Latino men seem to deviate from the norm) when they dance. I grew up going to clubs in the eighties when I was in my twenties and dance music was in style big time and I could not dance. As a matter of fact I refused to dance and yes I took the same position as Johnny Depp in which he said that, “I would rather swallow a “bag of hair” than dance.”
My dating opportunities were monumentally slashed because the easiest way to introduce yourself to a woman was to ask her to dance and that was precisely what my male competitors did. My friends and I were all also in the two left feet club too except for one (who happens to be a regular reader of this blog) and guess who out of all my friends got all the girls. I actually considered taking dance lessons but all that was available was the Fred Astaire Studio franchises which offered traditional or classical dance like the Fox Trot and the Tango,etc. Indeed, we were a forlorn bunch of guys looking at the dance floor, sipping our beers, and hoping that we would somehow meet a woman who could understand our situation and predicament. If we somehow managed to spark up a conversation with a woman, the fear was always there – what if she asks me to dance? Well at this point, the options were not good; we could say no and then she would think that I was a “stick in the mud” or I could bravely accept her invitation and embarrass myself and show her what an incompetent “dork” I was when it comes to dancing.
Now what may seem counter-intuitive to some, is that I have a tremendous sense of rhythm, after all I played guitar, was involved in sports, and I was and am a life-time martial arts practitioner. The aforementioned requires an expertise in timing. My knowledge of space and movement was well understood but I’ve since learned that I and everyone else must learn about that sort of rhythmic measuring. We are not born with 4/4 or 4/6 timing, this is all learned, though it seems like second nature now. I suppose I could have learned how to dance if I practiced, but honestly, I never did, not unlike Johnny Depp, I don’t enjoy expressing myself via dance. Listen, I have never, ever, practiced dancing – no I have never put on an album and subsequently proceeded to dance. Tapping my foot or playing air guitar is as far as I’ve ever gone.
So WhaDaYaThink ? What do you think ? My opinion is women just look awesome dancing, it’s like fish to water; men, I’m really talking about white men (I know things are changing – white kids listen to rap etc.) just look stupid.

How many times have I heard people say something to the effect i.e. “If there is no God, then life is meaningless. “This assertion has always left me scratching my head and utterly perplexed. “Why bother raising a family if they’re all going to perish and die someday… ” This sort of illogical thinking has reinforced my belief that man is a strange species indeed; smarter yes, but stranger than any other primate is. I hear this time and time again from Christian fundamentalists who make the claim that if we don’t live for eternity and there is no afterlife then life ceases to matter. One might argue that since our time is limited, then  life ought to be all the more important.
I’ve written  before about how living forever would be a Kafkaesque nightmare, and I now want to just touch upon how foolishly inane this notion of thinking that a life that goes on and on and on and on – forever and ever without end is the only existence that would render life important and meaningful. This is just nonsense. The fact that we will one day no longer exist should not nullify or marginalize our life one iota, no matter how long or short of a time we live.
I must admit that I have been guilty of this sort of wrong-headed thinking when I was in college after a friend of mine had died at a young age. That semester and the semester after that , my grades dropped precipitously. “What is the point of studying and getting good grades if we’re going to die someday?” I suppose the fact that my friend’s death was unexpected and premature – he died way too young; was really the cause of my angst. The real issue at hand was that anyone of us can die at any time, but since I was 20 years old, wasn’t diagnosed with a terminal disease, and dying from an accident or mishap was remote, my emotional response was inappropriate. There are no guarantees as to when and how long we live but the fact that we are going to die doesn’t make life meaningless. Having stated the aforementioned, I personally think that most people do however die too soon; life is so ineffably rich and beautiful (often – it can be awful and ugly too)that I can envision myself living for centuries (this is science fiction here but ..) even thousands of years without getting bored, as long as my body held up.
But, even if I died tomorrow, and there was no afterlife,etc. I would still be full of gratitude and would consider myself an incredibly lucky person to be born and had had a life at all.
I’m going to conclude this blog with a little something that Shelly Kagan from Yale put together to illustrate and put into perspective how mind-bogglingly amazing it is that you and I are here alive. Here we go – If there are 5 billion people in the world today and roughly  2.5 billion are men and 2.5 billion are women the potential birth algorithm would be calculated as follows: 2.5 billion women x 30 years of childbearing years x 12 eggs x 2.5 billion men x 50 sperm producing years x the unbelievable average of 40 million spermatozoa per ejaculation the number you end up with is 1.5 million, billion, billion, billion potential births and after this generation gives birth you would then end up with more potential people than all the particles in the known universe.
So WhaDaYaThink ? What do you think ? Just think if your great, great, great, great grandmother had a headache and perhaps had sex 5 minutes later, you would not be here.