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Why Can’t We All Just Get Along!

April 18th, 2012 by Michael Tabor
I can make this statement about race relations, International politics, Jews and Arabs, Sunnis and Shiites, light-skinned blacks and dark-skinned blacks, gay and straight people, and just about anyone or any group -the list is truly seemingly infinite. What I want to discuss today is getting right down to the nuclear family i.e. Spouse, parents, siblings, and children. Denise doesn’t like her husband, Joe can’t seem to control his children, Marty hasn’t spoken to his brother in 10 years, Jim hasn’t said a word to his parents in 20 years – you get the point.
There isn’t a person I know who is NOT struggling in some regard in terms of just “getting along” with his or her family. Why is it so difficult to get along with one another? Bob Grant (a long-time pioneering conservative talk show host ) stated over and over that the human psyche is so fragile, that it is a miracle that we don’t kill each other – lol.
I am very fortunate in that: first and foremost I am married to the greatest woman in the world. She is truly loving, loyal, supportive, stunningly beautiful, and she has stuck with me through the good and bad times.  I have the finest friends a man can ever ask for (intelligent, funny, caring, considerate, supportive, etc.), I have a wonderful following on my blog (blogging is not lucrative unless you’re Huffington Post and have lots of money to invest or you know someone – just like any venture)  and I love them all even if they don’t always agree with me. I have very good acquaintances on all the social networks, and finally all the people with whom I work are pleasant, smart and just an absolute joy with whom to interact. Oh, and let me not forget, I have wonderful neighbors too (we love you Sue).
But I must admit though it appears as though I have scores of people who love and care about me, sometimes I feel all alone. Very often, the reason there is some falling out is that there is some stupid or silly misunderstanding. Other times there is good reason to be upset at another individual. I believe the main reason as the great American author said, “Human beings are afraid of difference. If we don’t think alike, we feel threatened in some way shape or form” (this is a shame). Another reason we don’t get along is that people change. I used to be very shy child that even carried over into young adulthood, now that I’m older, I hold my ground and if I feel that someone has slighted me, I will most definitely let him or her know about it. (I have a silver tongue and my words can be quite virulent – a shortcoming of mine – I am flawed just like everyone else.)
So now it’s your turn. WhaDaYaThink ? What do you think ? Tell us about your family squabbles and perhaps offer some reasons as to why they occur.
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9 Responses to “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along!”

  1. magdalena tabor Says:

    I am at such an apathetic point in my life, where I neither care to deflect unfound accusations nor desire to correct them by defending myself. It’s as if the spears aimed to hit me, miss the mark because I just don’t care to react. Peace can be achieved by choosing to remain silent and unaffected. Have I turned to stone? I don’t think so – I’ve moved beyond the pettiness to the one thing that’s truly important; to be happy with what time we have left and to try to generate kindness instead.

  2. Michael Tabor Says:

    You said it Magdalena. This is who I am and either you like me or you don’t – Just be happy and do the best you can @ being a good person.

  3. kss Says:

    …’several compelling aspects in the responses above.
    Among other things, we’d probably have to answer partly by doing the work of [1] defining ‘getting along,’ [2] recognizing one’s possible and probable ownership in both problem and solution sides here, and [3] consider, rather than patronize, a number of ‘classical’ sources regarding the perennial problems of selfish interpretation, attitude, and action… AND, then, recognize largely inexplicable, gratuitous evil/s. The old triumvirate of ‘world, flesh, and devil’ insists on making ubiquitous appearance – even long after we’ve ‘known’ that any related explanation is ‘medieval hogwash.’

  4. Michael Tabor Says:

    Very Thought-provoking Kevin. Yes because this is just a 500 word essay I couldn’t fully expound and yes – defining “getting along is important. I’ve certainly generalized a bit because again length but I believe I touched on several of the reasons for squabbling and what I neglected to really discuss is pride and ego. We all want to feel a sense of worth and when someone diminishes your skills,talents, abilities, etc. we take umbrage. Although I never particularly cared for Bob Grant, he really nailed it when he stated how fragile our psyches are – I mean we are literally like eggshells. Thoughtful post.

  5. magdalena tabor Says:

    I agree that evil does exist and is often difficult to deal with especially when it’s masked by those near and dear to us. Dousing the flames with water is sometimes the better solution, rather than let it combust by altercation. Tricky.

  6. Michael Tabor Says:

    How can I possibly forget Democrats and Republicans – partisanship is ruining this country.

  7. rick Says:

    do you two talk face to face?

  8. AllPeople Says:

    .
    There is actually no such thing as a so-called “Light-Skinned
    Black” person … but rather … such individuals and groups
    are actually people who are of a ‘Multi-Generational
    Multiracially-Mixed’ (MGM-Mixed) Lineage that some may
    have been pressured or encouraged to ignore or downplay.
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4160
    .
    People of Mixed-Race lineage should NOT feel pressured to
    ‘identify’ according to any standards other than one’s own.
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4157
    .
    The legal -application of the racist-‘One-Drop Rule’
    (ODR) was banned in the U.S. way back in 1967.
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4162
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/253286018082418/permalink/253341891410164
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4187
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/253286018082418/permalink/253341281410225
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    Listed below are related Links of ‘the facts’ of the histories
    of various Mixed-Race populations found within the U.S.:
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    There is no proof that a ‘color-based slave hierarchy’
    (or that ‘color-based social-networks’) ever existed
    as common entities — within the continental U.S.
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4154
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4153
    .
    It was the ‘Rule of Matriliny (ROM) — [a.k.a. ‘The Rule of Partus’
    (ROP)] — and NOT the racist-‘One-Drop Rule’ (ODR) — that was
    used to ‘create more enslaved people’ on the continental U.S.
    .
    This is because the chattel-slavery system that was
    once found on the antebellum-era, continental U.S.
    was NOT “color-based” (i.e. “racial”) — but rather
    — it was actually “mother-based” (i.e. ‘matrilineal’).
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/309460495741441
    .
    There were many ways (and not solely the sexual assault
    and sexual exploitation of the women-of-color) in which
    ‘white’ lineage entered the familial bloodlines of
    enslaved-people found on the continental U.S.
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4238
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4239
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4240
    .
    An ‘Ethnic’ category is NOT the
    same thing as a “Race” category:
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4236
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/300777016632181
    .
    Other Topics:
    .
    https://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/279223868853420
    .
    https://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/164203590359746
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/notes/%C2%ADallpeople-gifts/the-facts-on-m%C2%ADixed-race/321878451159708
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .

  9. Michael Tabor Says:

    I don’t like the label “light – skinned – black” anymore than you do, however, we all have different skin pigmentation and there are some black people who are not MGM (as far as we know) and just have lighter skin color – that’s all. Don’t make everything a race issue, this is 2012 – stop perpetuating the racial differences.

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