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How To Trap A Fairy

March 16th, 2012 by Magdalena Tabor
Everyone knows that fairies can only be found in the enchanted land of The Emerald Isle but their appearance had grown so scarce, it was believed they had been driven to near extinction by over population of the human species. This is not the case. Fairies adapt and have the uncanny ability to conceal themselves pratically anywhere. Just the other day, Mrs. Mulligan spotted one in her pantry next to the Campbell’s Soup, and about three weeks ago Joe Callahan stepped into his bedroom slippers in the morning when he was bitten on the toe. He didn’t actually see the culprit, what with all the throbbing and pain inflicted, but he did glimpse an irridescent wing as it slipped into a crack in the floor. He said he hasn’t caught one yet but was given some very specific instructions on how to go about it:
1) When your honey jar is just about empty, let it stand open on a cool, grey morning with the mist blowing southeast off the Irish Sea. Be sure that the cap to the jar is readily available. Keeping it in your pocket is a good idea.
2) Play the harp but stay out of sight. If you don’t play, then get someone who does. It’s no use faking it by playing a recording since they know the real thing when they hear it. Fairies are so sound sensitive, they can detect the slightest variation in frequency.
3) When the fairy alights on the rim of the jar, contain your excitement and don’t even breathe or it will  dart off never to return. Be patient and wait until it gets inside the jar to taste the honey at the bottom. It will eventually get stuck but not enough to entrap it, so be sure to grab the cap and screw it on tightly.
4) Punch several holes into the top of the cap or it will suffocate within seconds. You might do this ahead of time to eliminate the shock.  Should your fairy suffer with an anxiety attack from claustrophobia, do not be alarmed. This is only a ruse. After all, fairies squeeze into the smallest of spaces so they’re really not fooling anyone.
What to do with it once you  have one? They’re fascinating to observe and very inexpensive to keep but be warned, they’re high maintenance. To keep your fairy in good health, you must insert a drop of honey into one of the holes in the jar every hour for 24 hours. If you’ve other business to attend to, such as sleep,  this can prove to be a bit bothersome.
Fairies have ADD, so unless you can play the harp for at least six hours each day for their amusement, you will have to hire someone who can. If you don’t, they will bug out and begin to hum in a high pitch in conjucntion with vibrating their wings, making the the sound intolerable. Fairies can’t hold a tune which is why they’re so partial to  good harp playing.
Fairies require exercise. To provide this, you will have to let them out of the jar without allowing them to escape. This can be a bit tricky but a simple net will take care of the matter and they can then be released into a space allowing them some mobility. Do be careful that the area is not too expansive or you’ll have trouble finding them. After exercise, they generally fall asleep somewhere and you can simply pick them up by the wings and place them gently back into the jar. Or if you’ve had enough of their company, place them outside somewhere safe and out of the vicinity of any neighborhood cats. They’ll fly off upon awakening, never to be seen again.
If you do decide to keep one, contribute to its comfort by lining the jar with some soft hay that can be purchaed at any Petco, and some flower petals from the florist if you don’t have any in your yard. Insert some clover for snacking, making certain to inspect any that may have four leaves. Remove these! This is lucky for the fairy and will ensure its release from captivity. No one knows how this is done but the empty jar is proof of the four leaf clover’s magical qualities. No one has ever kept a fairy for very long, so enjoy them while you can – they’re bound to get out one way or another. More often than not, you let them out yourself because they keep making those awful faces at you. They can keep it up for hours.
Oh, incidently, if you’re not Irish, you don’t stand a chance with any of this. No one else possesses the ability to see a fairy, let alone capture one. If you’re part Irish, then you may be fortunate enough to see its shadow for one split second. In a  rare case, a Welshman caught one on camera but the film disintegrated upon development. Good Luck!
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6 Responses to “How To Trap A Fairy”

  1. Jessica Suarez Says:

    Hi, How about freeing a fairy? Seriously… They are trapped by a witch who uses chants to put fairies in bondage. Please help.

  2. magdalena Says:

    All you have to do is unscrew the lid.

  3. Elsa Says:

    How do you get ice powers

  4. magdalena Says:

    When you chill a fairy.

  5. Elsa Says:

    I meant for other people I already have ice and snow powers how will people become like me even though I know that they won’t

  6. Elsa Says:

    I’m not Irish at all but I’ve seen a fairy and I’M NOT IRISH so if your not Irish don’t worry it will 100% Works don’t listen to ” if your not irish you don’t stand a chance with this if your part Irish you have luck ” that’s a lie

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