How Silly and Cute Young People Are

August 29th, 2011 by Michael Tabor
Well it’s nearly 2012 and not a single event, trivial or not, is caught and captured by our cellphones and then circulated throughout the world via the internet.
A young girl, perhaps in her teens or even maybe a little older, has a crush on St. Louis Rams quarterback; she painstakingly puts together a placard with the words –”Marry me Sam Bradford” inscribed. The St. Louis Rams Football Organization and maybe even the NFL decide to make a sweet gesture and have Sam Bradford sign it. He signs it and it is given back to her by his people and the girl is so overwhelmed, she visibly hyperventilates and starts to cry (see video clip)

Isn’t it wonderful to be young, silly and cute!!!!
My only issue is that, Sam Bradford, who is really just a kid himself (23), nonchalantly signs the poster and gives it to his PR people, doesn’t even glance at the young girl and walks off like he’s president of the United States or perhaps one of the most important people in the world. I thought it was a nice gesture but I wish Sam would have gone that extra mile and personally handed it to her and perhaps given her a KISS !
Isn’t it great to be young and still be capable of puppy love. Very cute!

“I” is for Irene. “I” is for Imbeciles.

August 28th, 2011 by Magdalena Tabor

The wind is still gusting. I spent a sleepless night peering through the windows at the nightmare outside and staying glued to ominous news reports; and in between my vigil, a couple of cat naps. My makehift bed was situated on the ground floor of my home away from windows that may shatter glass my way, opting for a stiffened back come morning rather than lie dead in the upstairs bedroom resulting from a downed tree. Hurricane Irene was massive in scale – 500 miles in width; the size of the entire European continent and she was headed this way. My biggest fear (besides the roof being torn off) was the old oak tree directly positioned in front of the house. Its straight as a soldier stance provided little reassurance and the spurts of wind in its upper branches rattled my nerves. After all, the amount of rain alone could loosen the ground considerably; enough to make this giant topple like a bowling pin.

The other threat (as if a hurricane weren’t enough) were the tornado warnings that could strike at any given moment anywhere in the vicinity and consequently demolish your home in an instant, not to mention the loss of life. Thankfully, none of these things happened to us but it’s of no consolation that it happened to someone else. The long night of harrowing winds, torrential rain and cannonball shots of thunder was accompanied by the eerie moan of an emergency siren from the firehouse; a warning to stay indoors as if you’d have to tell me twice. Why I am repeatedly amazed at the stupidity of mankind, I’ll never know but here are just a few examples of what people chose to do after being advised to evacuate:

In New York City – A woman in a bikini was seen jogging in the rain while talking to a reporter. It’s the most natural thing in the world, right?
In New Jersey –  Numerous surfers jumped off of a 20 foot pier that had collapsed into the angry, tumultuous sea. The sea appeared to swallow them up but with intermittent gasps of air they insisted they were having fun.
On Staten Island – Two kayakers had to be rescued at sea by emergency personnel, placing the lives of everyone at risk. Brilliant.
On Long Island – Families with children went out into the storm to look at the ocean, choosing to stay and party with neighbors after a mandatory evacuation was announced. This is not a snow storm, people – It’s a life threatening HURRICANE. You don’t stay and pop some corn with the kids like you’re watching a movie. YOU ARE IN THE MOVIE TO WHICH THERE MAY BE NO SEQUEL.
By mid morning the storm only intensified yet it was downgraded to a Category 1 tropical storm once it made landfall in New York City. However, the effects of the 80 mile an hour winds were still felt, creating widespread damage. News reports filmed the flooding in the low lying coastal regions several blocks just south of us on Long Island. Huge trees and power lines downed. Though still gusting, I made a tentative venture out in back of the house as the storm lessened its grip. My rabbits were bundled against the wind in their hutches. “You made it”, I murmured to them in congratulations. “My brave ones” bouncing around in fearless anticipation of breakfast.
So………………..whadayathink? Were you affected by the hurricane? Would you heed the warning to get out of the way of impending danger or decide it’s the perfect time to have some good clean fun?

Dominique Strauss-Kahn is Innocent, as the Judge Dismisses Rape Charge – Raises questions about whether the Accusers are Opportunists or Truly Victims.

August 25th, 2011 by Michael Tabor
What could be more difficult than ascertaining whether or not a sex crime has taken place.  Unless there is abundant physical and forensic evidence that forcible rape occurred, the evidence is always circumstantial and it comes down to “he said, she said.”
Now let me make this crystal clear; rape is a violent, unspeakably abhorrent crime and which if someone commits this crime and is truly guilty, then it is understood that the culprit should be publicly denounced and incarcerated in a real prison with bars 6 x 8 for a long time. However, the problem is how do we know who is guilty and who is not. Unfortunately, unless there is a camera, eyewitnesses who saw it (unlikely) or as I indicated earlier, forensic evidence indicating struggle and rape; there are only two people who know the truth.
This is certainly one of the most prodigiously vexing problems with which our judicial system has to contend and there really does not seem to be a real satisfactory solution with which I’m wholly comfortable. I tend to lean toward and place more weight on the physical evidence as to whether or not a crime was committed. Perhaps I possess this point of view because the women with whom I am associated are tough as nails and if she were in a position that Nafissatou Diallo was in, her reaction would certainly be different.
To begin with, Ms. Diallo stated that Mr. Strauss-Kahn forced her to perform oral sex on him. Now excuse me but this is not a prison setting and as far as I know, Strauss-Kahn did not have a gun or any other weapon. So Ms. Diallo, one would think could very well have just run out of the hotel room. Or, if hypothetically, she could not escape then – Not to get graphic, but the most logical self-defense tactic is the obvious – bite as hard as you possibly can and with your right hand, squeeze his testicles as hard as humanly possible. This will incapacitate the toughest thug on the planet – guaranteed.
Another scenario would perhaps be when a bigger, stronger man forces sexual intercourse on a woman. I understand there is no defense against that but at least try – put your fingers in his eye – sockets, etc. and then finally sometimes a weaker woman is overcome by the strength of the perpetrator and that is understood. However the physical evidence will show struggle and there you go.
Please do not misunderstand me, I am talking about alleged celebrity crimes such as this one, Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Kobe Bryant, etc. I can perfectly understand if a woman does not resist if she is attacked on the street by a violent felon.  That is a completely different scenario; by fighting back, this may just intensify the situation and force the fiend to get angry which subsequently could possibly lead to a homicide or some other grave physical injury.
We are discussing one of the most heinous crimes imaginable and a situation in which a woman is alleging that a celebrated public figure with enormous wealth raped her. Again, a rich and famous person could very well rape a hotel house cleaner but it certainly does raise red flags. Why?
The fact of the matter is that there are opportunistic, gold digging, reprehensible women who are so twisted that they would lie and entrap a famous and rich man and basically ruin his life. All she has to do is cry out rape and a man could lose his reputation, marriage, his money, and finally his life.
So whadayouthink ? Just because a woman says she was raped, doesn’t mean this was in fact the case. I believe a woman who lies and tries to entrap a man should herself be sent to a real prison 6×8 for a long time. The real question is are these rich and famous men cads or “rapists” or are they  targets for blackmail ?
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Iona’s Pearl

August 24th, 2011 by Magdalena Tabor
Sea of Roman glass,
Would you tell me if I ask –
What lies within your netted shroud
Reflective of storm driven cloud?
Harboring Iona’s pearl
Wrestled from the crystal swirl.
Or is it empty of the task –
Would you tell me if I ask?

Why Do the Meanest People Have Long and Ugly Necks ?

August 22nd, 2011 by Michael Tabor

Whadawethink is not in the business of casting aspersions on individual’s physical shortcomings. Nevertheless, isn’t  it uncanny that Howard Stern and Ann Coulter have the same exact neck. Look – mean, nasty people who make fun of people are cursed with the same necks that spew hatred and venom. Maybe there is a God?


Mole or Vole?

August 21st, 2011 by Magdalena Tabor
I came across a curious creature in the vegetable garden. It looked like a mouse with no ears (ex-Mouseketeer?) and with just a stub of a tail. I wondered which of my cats committed the crime but more puzzling, “Was it a mole or a vole?” questioning my neighbor. “A mole”, she answered with conviction and without hesitation. Was this the culprit nibbling at my strawberries or just an innocent passerby? I picked him (her?) up by its stubby tail and tossed him into the ferns out of sight – but not out of mind. (Sorry, but the pet cemetery is filled to capacity and since there are no headstones they might be interred one atop the other. Which is worse?)
Still, I had to know – mole or vole? There’s a huge difference between the two. A mole is not a rodent and he’s carnivorous; eating worms, grubs and insects. He poses no indirect threat to the garden burrowing underground. A vole, on the other hand, is a vegetarian. Sounds passive enough, right? But he’s a rodent using the tunnels of the mole to get at underground root systems, thereby destroying your garden and making that tree appear to lean ever so menacingly toward the house.
The only way to know if you have a mole or a vole is to give him the old peanut butter test. If he sniffs his nose up at it, he’s a mole. If he slathers it on bread along with some grape jelly, you’ve got yourself a vole. This, however, is only conclusive provided he’s alive to take the test. In my case, I still didn’t know whether it was a mole or a vole. Just mere speculation; the strawberries had been nibbled at. In a court of law, this could not be submitted as evidence unless the teeth marks were inspected under a highly developed microscope. I would have to investigate further. If the berries remain untouched, then it was a vole. Then again, if they continue to be taste tested for quality control assurance, it may be the vole’s cousin, aunt or uncle. In either case, it would still be a vole. I won’t hand over the jar of Skippy just yet.
I decided to go a step further which is what I should have done to begin with. In appearance, the mole is just as I described earlier. The vole, on the other hand, looks just like a mouse only more stout with a shorter hairy tail. Aha! So it was a MOLE and not a vole. He was just an innocent in the midnight hour ambushed by Eleanor, Isabella, Henri or Miss Moreland. Which was it? I had to know.

So……….whadayathink? Do you find mysterious telltale signs of crime sprees in the garden? Do you know who to point the finger at?


Grave Lessons

August 20th, 2011 by Magdalena Tabor
Some may think it rather strange or morose but I enjoy visiting local graveyards; the family plots that stem back to the time of the Revolution. They speak to me in the language of the day, not in the audible sense but in parting words inscribed on the stones themselves. I always begin by picking out the oldest headstones first, working my way up to the late 1800’s. Unfortunately, many of the oldest ones are so time worn by the elements that the writing has been completely obliterated – not even the identity of the person is revealed. Rather sad but reflective of the passing of time and the certainty that nothing lasts forever – not man, not stone. Some stones are so broken that they have been laid flat on the ground where they will weather even further. I’ve seen gravestones on Cape Cod that have been wrapped in a coil of iron to hold them together upright, a form of ingenuity our forefathers would appreciate. Material such as marble, while beautiful, wears away over the years but the reddish looking ones made of sandstone have stood the test of time, its durability made legible even as far back as the 1700’s. Thus, today’s oldest find dates from 1713 – a Major Thomas Jones from the “Kingdom of Ireland” – “From distant lands to the wild waste he came”. One must ponder how suburban Massapequa must have been in those days. Major Jones lies buried behind the Old Grace Church founded in 1844. Various members of the Floyd-Jones family lay claim  to this land as their final place of rest just within sight of the circa 1870 family servants cottage; a small narrow 2 story structure painted an earthy red, its eyes shut tight with thick white boards as if it can’t bear to see what’s happened 141 years later. Sadly, the earlier brick built family home the Major had erected fell into disrepair and was later destroyed by fire.  It was situated on the banks of the Massapequa Creek next to an old Indian path known today as Merrick Rd.
But who was Major Thomas Jones? I decided to look him up and found to my amazement that he was none other than the namesake for Jones Beach and responsible for the phrase “Keeping up with the Joneses”. Born in 1665 and descended from a noble Irish family, he served in battle under William III in England and under James II of Ireland. He gained a reputation for privateering under King James II (aka piracy made respectable under royal command) but upon the dethroning of the monarch, the Major was among those asked to leave the country. He set his sights on Jamaica (more piracy and looting) before landing in Rhode Island where he became acquainted with his future father-in-law, Captain Thomas Townsend, a wealthy Long Island landowner. He was introduced to daughter Freelove (sounds like a 1960’s name) who must have put her foot down on the piracy business  for there was no more talk of that. They married in 1692 and he in turn kept her busy with 7 children.  Freelove was of a prominent Quaker family from Norwich, England having acquired land grants from William the Conqueror. Upon their marriage in the New World, a large tract of land was gifted by the father of the bride – land formerly belonging to the Massapequa Indians making Thomas and Freelove the first recorded non-Indian Massapequa settlers. The amount of land Major Jones amassed upon his marriage must have been considerable judging from his resting place in Massapequa to Jones Beach in Wantagh several miles apart, as that portion of land officially became known as Jones Beach State Park, the nautical vision of Robert Moses in 1929. The Floyd-Jones name alone traces back to the time of King James II, 628 years to date. What a lineage.  Are you “keeping up?” To add further interest, Freelove was a Townsend whose family was related to the Townsends of Oyster Bay, which held an important role in George Washington’s spy ring.
So you see, a visit to the local graveyard is a lesson in history, a kind of time travel backwards. I would love to experience the progression of time from 1700 Long Island (or even earlier) and witness its gradual change to present day. What was once a vast “wild waste” has been chiseled away to just an acre or so, its surrounding countryside parceled off and hemmed in by modern day homes. A car crunches on the graveled semi-circular drive. A young woman emerges dressed conspicuously in black leggings and a black tank top bearing deep red flowers for one of the newer gravesites. The Floyd-Joneses forgotten and remembered. The graveyard is a lesson in life – not death. A place where the living can contemplate what life might have been like all those years ago. It’s all part of the journey. Two young girls inspect the stones in present day Massapequa. For them, the journey is just beginning. I walk away conscious of my own breathing, my senses sharpened in the salty air. History beneath the soles of my feet.
So……………whadayathink? Are you as fascinated as I am about early American history? Do you slow down every time you see a family owned graveyard and wonder about its inhabitants?

Talk Shows are Nothing but Self-Promotion

August 19th, 2011 by Michael Tabor

This is going to be a very short blog. Guests go on talk shows to promote a product or service – nothing more. Before even appearing (big stars), typically the questions are known in advance and there are stock answers ready. What is that? What intelligent person would watch and waste his or her time watching some idiot celebrity promoting his or her book or show? I just watched Christne O’Donnel (I don’t know who she is) walk off the Piers Morgan Show on CNN because he asked her a question that was not on the prepared list. Keep on walking Chistine O – who –ever you- are and never, ever, do an interview on live TV again. First of all, I have no idea what you’re famous for and had you stayed around and answered a few questions and allowed the viewer to know who you are maybe the public would get to know you and the whole affair would have been fruitful for all. Instead, this woman whom I’ve never heard of and have never seen in my life chose to leave.
If Piers Morgan from CNN wants to interview me, I won’t need a prepared list and you can ask me any question under the sun, and I will be willing to answer it.


Is the Hypocritical Ann Coulter Gay or Not?

August 18th, 2011 by Michael Tabor
There are few celebrities (including pseudo-celebrities) or people in the public eye whom I “hate.” There is certainly a plethora of people in the center stage that I dislike and I would even say strongly dislike, however, hate is a strong word and I usually do not harbor such intense emotion for “silly” celebrities or politicians I do not personally even know.
Having stated the aforementioned, I must say that I used to hate the former President of the United States, George W. Bush, and now the only person I could honestly say I hate is the frivolous right –wing conservative pundit – the notorious Ann Coulter. The former used to be the most important person in the world, had the power, and influence to literally affect my life. Ann Coulter is just a GOP pundit and prolific author (she churns out about a book a year, stirring the pot with her usual outrageous right-wing rhetoric) who has absolutely no impact on my life and is powerless to affect it in any way, shape, or form. So, I really should just dismiss her and just not pay any attention to her not unlike so many other folks I’m not exactly keen on.
Last week, the woman who has been bashing homosexuals since time immemorial announced, that she would serve as honorary chair of its Advisory Council and hold the title of “Gay Icon.” The name of the organization of which she will “proudly” assume this grandiose moniker is GOProud.  I was completely shocked when I heard the news; this declaration coming from the very same woman who is vehemently against gay marriage, believes a gay person could be cured with therapy and prayer, is opposed to women serving in the military or being cops or firewomen, etc. Every extreme right – wing position on the issue of homosexuality, Ann Coulter unequivocally has stood firmly with the GOP.
I suspect that much of what Ms. Coulter says and writes about is with her tongue firmly in her cheek. I do not think she is serious when she makes these rhetorical pot-stirring remarks. If she came out and said she was a satirist and an entertainer, then I actually would have no problem with her at all. However, she adamantly states that everything she writes about is her belief and version of the truth, as she perceives it.
Now to address the gist of this blog – is Ann Coulter gay. For someone who was not a gay basher, this would be a non-issue. Who cares? Ann is a very perplexing woman to say the least. She has dated men her whole life and has even dated three prominent gentlemen, one of whom was Andrew Stein – a liberal democrat. Go figure – she says opposites attract. For the record, Ann Coulter has also never publically announced that she herself was gay. Nevertheless, if she were not gay then why on earth would she assume the title of “Gay Icon”? In addition, why would GOProud elect a notorious conservative gay-basher as its leader? So there you have it two things – 1. Why would Ann Coulter decide to be the “Gay Icon” for an organization to which she is supposedly vehemently opposed? 2. Why would GOProud want a homophobic for its leader and even if she were neutral on gay rights and issues, wouldn’t it stand to reason that the organization would want a person who was actually GAY ??
So whadayathink ? Is Ann Coulter gay or not? Do you like Ann Coulter? Do you think her whole personage of being this outrageous right-winger is a joke? Please comment, I would love to get your comments.
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Fred Imus Dead at Age 69

August 10th, 2011 by Michael Tabor

I used to be a Howard Stern fan when I was in my twenties and early thirties and then after hearing the same show repeatedly, (Stern is nearly 60 years old and still has strippers on parading around in his studio. Obviously a man who never grew up – blah, blah blah – such a bore), I turned the dial and started listening to Don Imus.
I wasn’t a huge Don Imus fan, however one part of the show I enjoyed immensely was when he would chat on air with a very minor celebrity – his brother, Fred Imus. I was shocked to hear that Fred was only 69 years old. The public has always been and still is very critical of how Don Imus looks so much older than his years (71 now) but Fred looked even older and he was the younger brother.
I read on the web just today that Fred Imus died peacefully (I hate when journalists use the adverb “peacefully” whenever people die in their sleep; there is a whole lot of brain activity going on when one sleeps, so not to be grim, I doubt very much that it is peaceful; leave out your subjective feelings when writing an obituary)on Sat., 8/6/2011 in his trailer in Tucson, Arizona.
Fred was more like a caller than a guest. His humor was dry, crass at times (any ex-Stern fans would find it very tame), matter-of-fact and wise. For me personally, I listened to The Imus show for news with a little bit of humor and for the Fred Imus call-in. I would not say that Fred was the funniest man in the world nor did I even think of him much after the show was over. What surprised me was that the brothers, Don and Fred, were very close their entire lives. This may be apocryphal, but Fred was instrumental in referring Don’s material to a particular radio station. Don was immediately hired in 1969 and fired a short time afterward for saying “hell.” Moreover, as we all know the rest is history for Don Imus – he’s been hired and subsequently fired for some controversial reason his whole entire career.
What I loved most about Fred, aside from his gruff, down-to-earth take on current events but his absolutely sincere lack of interest in celebrity (he lived in a trailer) and his genuine desire to have his older brother Don, be successful and have just a great show. Fred did not begrudge Don one smidgeon of fame and fortune and Don never forgot his younger brother. The brothers swiped at each other’s flaws and shortcomings relentlessly but they nevertheless had such a connection that they would fearlessly and unabashedly say after every call that they loved each other. .
R.I.P. – Fred Imus.
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