Hefner to Marry Model

December 30th, 2010 by Michael Tabor

Super Stud Hugh Hefner, 84 set to marry model 60 years  his Jr

Not to be a male chauvinist, but from the outside looking in – who has it better than Hugh Hefner does? Well first let me dispel the ludicrous notion that some men are not interested in other young, beautiful women. Yes, I am sorry to say ladies even your wonderful, selfless, caring, perfect flower-toting husband has a wandering eye. Every healthy (even perhaps unwell) man from your brother, father, husband and Larry King has heart palpitations when some beautiful, young female traipses into ones’ view.

Now having proclaimed the aforementioned (most men will declare “I’m stating the obvious.”), lets look at and examine the remarkable life of Hugh Marston Hefner born April 9, 1926 in Chicago, Illinois. He is currently 84 and will be 85 in 4 months (here is another stroke of luck; it appears Hefner has great genes as well – his father lived to 102 and his mother 80).

Hugh was fortunate enough to be raised in an upper middle class family; at the very least very educated family – his parents were teachers. From early on his peers and teachers always thought well of the young lad, he was looked upon as a prodigy and whiz kid earning superlative marks in elementary and high school. Though shy, reserved, and having a slight lisp, he was always the kid who ranked at the top of his class and was renowned for having a knack for creative writing.

Hefner was a quick study. He started his career as a journalist at a military magazine (good trivia question – name the military magazine he worked at? I’ll pay pal $20 to anyone who can answer this) he then went on to finish his degree and it took him only 2&1/2 years to get his B.A. in psychology & creative writing. He went to graduate school but then did the “the old Bill Gates and Harvard deal” which simply means f*** this school s**t and get out into the real world and make some $$$.

His first real paying job was with Esquire working as a copywriter. Legend has it, he quit because the company refused to give him a $5 raise. Whether this is true or not is not that important but what he did next absolutely WAS. Hefner took out a loan, mortgaged off whatever he owned, even borrowed $1000 from his mother, raised about $8000 – $10,000 from about 40 investors, and launched without question the greatest, unique, cosmopolitan, and controversial magazine ever to be presented before men’s (and women’s) eyes. PLAYBOY Magazine!

This was no ordinary magazine. In fact, it was a magazine that featured things that had never, ever been published before. The publication had Nude women with a naked Marilyn Monroe on the cover (BTW Hefner never met Monroe, he bought the 1949 nude calendar shot) for its very first issue. It showed naked women but it was classy (many feminists believe that Playboy has been more harmful and destructive to women than the real hardcore magazines such as Hustler. What with Playboy all the airbrushing and the only showing of pubic hair, not a pimple on her bottom; whereas the woman in Hustler is shown in very crass perhaps “realistic” shots. They actually show the vagina the way it really looks in all its beauty, awe and wonder. Therefore, the feminists proclaim that the women in playboy do not exist in real life and lead men to view women unrealistically and the woman in Hustler is the real deal, however the Hustler women are being exploited. To which I actually whole-heartedly agree. It is funny because I am sure there are some young people who probably have never heard of Hustler magazine. The internet has destroyed the nudie magazine and now they show everything. No more mystery. Which incidentally will be another blog – “the mystery is gone.” I never saw a naked woman until I was sixteen. One of my friend’s dads subscribed to Playboy and there you go – I was awestruck, I was excited beyond all expression or description in words, I was utterly and irrevocably forever in love with those beautiful beyond belief GIRLS!

In addition to the stunning nude women in Hefner’s magazine, it also provided reading material. Moreover, the material was not garbage. Some have even gone so far as to say that the writing was literary. Arthur C. Clarke had written short stories for the publication. Other notable writers who contributed their writing talents included Ian Fleming, Margaret Atwood and P.G. Wodehouse just to name a few. My goodness the greatest writer stylist of the 20th century, Vladimir Nabokov, granted Playboy an interview. Playboy was respectable; it was stylish, chic (no seedy perverts with trench coats), it was acceptable. Additionally female celebrities were paid millions of dollars to merely shed their clothes and pose and it was clearly understood that she would be shown in only the most tasteful manner.

So now we come to what we have been awaiting . WHADAWETHINK? Is Hugh Hefner a jerk? Is he just another sleazy pornographer? On the other hand, maybe he is an astute businessperson – a brilliant Entrepreneur. He also gets involved with philanthropy. He also is obviously a staunch advocate for the 1st amendment and Freedom of Speech.

It is your turn now people.       WHADAWETHINK ?

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16 Responses to “Hefner to Marry Model”

  1. Rob Says:

    I think Hugh Hefner was a pioneer who helped revolutionized sexual freedom. If it wasn’t for Playboy and Rock n Roll, human sexuality and sexual expression would still be stuck in the 1950’s. And what a life he’s had. Plus, to be 84 yrs old and still at it. Not too many 84 yr olds with that kind of vigor. Most 84 yr olds just want to take a nap. So what if he’s going to marry a woman 60 yrs younger. Good for him.

  2. Michael Tabor Says:

    I agree.

  3. paul uber Says:

    great stuff bro…keep it up

  4. Jack Whealan - SkyTop Builders Says:

    I think we should cryogenicly freeze this guy and 1000 years from now bring him back so he can marry another 5 ladies and take arguably some of the best looking women from the available pool of potential brides. He can wear that stunning boating hat with an ascot because these women are obviously interested in his macho good looks… not money. He can do a little dance when he thaws and say something like “I’m a boat captain… ahoy Matey!” I wish I was there to see it.
    I find it odd that in an era of egalitarianism, a magazine like Playboy would be accepted by people who want women to be on an even playing field with men. But there you have it… a depiction of plastic women with the dunce caps that are typically on their heads ‘Photoshopped’ out juxtaposed with some heady writing… about how wonderful our world is with equality and all.
    Anyway, when people indulge in ogling at plastic dolls, if you will, they diminish the beauty of the whole person…. the heart of the person is never reached. If this plays out in a sexual sense, it makes every real encounter with your wife for example seem sub-standard. In essence, your sex life can never compare…. it becomes bad porn.
    If someone reading this is at a point in their lives where money and hot chicks still has a glittery appeal, then ask yourself this question: If Hugh is so happy, why has he always had to drink so much? …. and that stupid cap. I think the cap is kind of like a security blanket…. a Teddy bear. That’s the only plausible explanation.

  5. Lawrence Taylor's Illegitimate Son Says:

    Nice piece on Heffner. On an unsavory note, though, one can’t help but wonder how many women over the decades felt pressured to sleep with him in order to get anywhere.
    As to the miltary magazine for which he worked, I know of only two such publications: “Signal,” which was the Joseph Goebbels’ orchestrated monthly propaganda piece distributed (intitially) amongst the Waffen SS, and from 1940-1944 amongst the occupied populations of Europe; and “Stars and Stripes,” the US Department of Defense funded newspaper which actually dates back to 1861, and is now published daily. Given Heffner’s age and heritage, I’m guessing he worked for the the latter. (Please send the $20 to my dad’s legal defense fund.)

  6. Lawrence Taylor's Illegitimate Son Says:

    My mistake; “Signal” was actually a creation of the Wehrmacht, and was largely independent of Goebbel’s influence.

    While you’re on the topic of porn pioneers, I’d be curious to read your take on the rise and fall of the recently deceased Bob Guccione, founder and long-time publisher of “Penthouse,” which I always significantly preferred to the air-brushed and comparatively boring “Playboy.” As a personality, Guccione was a far more interesting and compelling figure than Heffner.

  7. Michael Tabor Says:

    Lawrence Taylor’s illegitimate son – How did you get so damn smart. I suppose you have your mama’s genes (Sorry if Lawrence doesn’t remember which mama that just may be but nevertheless he does appreciate the 20 bucks. On a serious note; 1. Sure having sex with prostitutes is a less than noble passtime (considering you’re a hall of famer & idolized by millions of kids). however 2. when a john picks up a pros. do they typically I.D. them ?

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